I'm 47, and I lay here thinking about my life. What I've done and who I've done it to. All the souls I've swallowed and all the flesh I tasted.
Where did it all lead?
I remember having sex for the first time, and how I just wanted to continue my quest for pleasure with all sorts of people. I'm bi-sexual you see. I just wanted the sex for the experience, the thrill. But where did it all lead?
I think about all the people I infested because of my own selfish desires, the lust. I look at future generations having to worry about this epidemic, and I feel for them.
I'm lying here in a bed, infected with H.I.V., and all I can think of is all the people that are lying next to me because of the same reason; carnal pleasure.
I have so much anger for the person who gave me this disease, but why? Are we not in control of our own actions? Who's to blame, the person who gave it to me, or I, who didn't think about the consequences? And where did it all lead?
Not thinking or caring about the consequences, just as long as I released this force inside of me. Why didn't I have more self control? Why didn't I care? Why didn't I think?
I lay here and think about all the people I infected, and think about all the people they are infesting as I die; not caring; not thinking; generation, after generation, after generation.
Where and when will it all end? So I say to myself again, laying here and dwelling in this hell; where did it all lead? To a slow death and nothing but regret.